When you have nightmares so horrible you're terrified to sleep no matter how exhausted you are.

That you'll stay up until almost noon, drink and even make yourself sick repeatedly (although that part is also due to my eating disorder) so that (hopefully) you're too exhausted to have dreams when you do finally sleep

When looking at pictures of yourself naked (that you willingly took yourself) feels so disturbing and pornographic you feel like you're raping your own eyes

When you're too scared to sleep in the same bed as your spouse because having a human body so close to you when you're vulnerable terrifies you

When the main thing that keeps you from suicide is that you haven't done anything to make your abusers pay for what they did to you.

When you flinch when your baby moves too quickly in your direction.

When it becomes easier to consider the possibility of your spouse cheating on you because you can't have sex than it is to consider having sex and being naked and exposed to them.