Quote:
Originally Posted by malika138
I think many of us struggle with the idea of whether we pay a T to listen to us, like a rent-a-friend, so they must not really care about us. However, don't we pay them for their expertise, part of which is knowing how to really listen to a client and to keep their s**t out of it? I don't believe that a good T will engage as thoroughly in a conversation with a friend, an acquaintance, etc., as they do to us in the session room. And when we are in the session room, aren't we supposed to be self-absorbed, in that we are talking about how we respond to the world?
Another part of their training is to know how to guide a client towards his or her decision making, and not just to offer advice. I believe a good T will approach us honestly with our best interest in mind. As someone said in this thread, when "when I can't rely on my own judgement, I borrow his."
|
Yes, a rented friend is what it feels like to me at the moment. I didn't start therapy this way - there were genuine issues that needed addressing but three years later I feel worse (maybe because of the circumstances ourside od therapy) and I feel like I reply on them so much. This silence and non judgmenal approach is hurting me. This distance, I take it personally, I feel so attached and they remian calm. I think everything really was only triggered after I send her this really long message, not the first one to be honest but I just wanted to be able to sit down and talk about it and I couldn't. I do expect the therapist to take charge when I am feeling like I get stuck and if they don't I feel/felt like its all a service, that if I don't talk then they would not take an initiative, that its my job to talk and their to listen, that if I don't know where to start they are not gonna do it for me. And for me, all I want is for her to talk to me. When I get stuck, just to take 5-10min and talk instead of asking more and more questions that I cannot answer in that moment which make me even more self counsious or suggesting rescheduling as she did.