I just realized my therapist doesn't do a whole lot from the relational perspective. He is psychoanalytic, so the way he does therapy promotes transference, which intensifies attachment needs.
But I found some basic, really simple things therapists do to help forge a bond:
Quote:
'Rapport' is 'a feeling of sympathetic understanding', where two people feel a bond between one another, such that they will more easily trust one another.
Active Care: Don't wait to be asked.
Attention in Conversation: How to sustain a laser focus.
Co-location: Just be nearby.
Create Empathy: Trigger their concern for you.
Encouraging: Getting them to speak.
Empathetic Language: To connect with them.
Expressing Care: Show concern for them and theirs.
Holding Gaze: eye-to-eye attraction.
Listening: A powerful method of creating a bond.
Mirroring: Direct copying of their actions.
Matching: Indirect copying of actions.
Open Honesty: Exposing your own vulnerability.
Paraphrasing: Rephrasing in your own words.
Parroting: Simple repetition of what they say.
Passive Care: Do no harm.
Reflecting Verbal Style: Use their overall modes of speech.
Reflecting Words: Echo individual words they say.
Be Reliable: Deliver on your promises.
Seek Advice: Rather than opinion.
Synchrony: Two people as one.
Synergizing: Combine ideas for an even better idea.
Use Their Name: Show you know them.
Building Rapport
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More on synchrony:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/art...C4907088/#B139
Be a good parent, holding and containing, lending ego, etc.:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3330607/
and
Quote:
Psychoanalysis was specifically designed to encourage transference. Intentional opacity and non-disclosure by the therapist promotes transference; the patient naturally makes assumptions about the therapist's likes and dislikes, attitude toward the patient, life outside the office, and so forth. These assumptions are based on the patient's experiences with, and assumptions regarding, other important relationships, such as childhood relations with parents.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...rence-overview
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People who didn't have these loving things growing up seem more likely to react to these things with intensity aka become attached.