I don't know where you live but there is county mental health that are sliding scale. There is medication on the generic list of many pharmacies there's also discount/free meds from name brand corporations. You NEED to call around and find a sliding scale center tomorrow. Even if it's in a city far away it's worth the drive. You can't live like this. I would suggest next time you explode you go to the hospital because you are a danger to him. It maybe best to split and focus on getting help and getting stable.