I'm sorry you're feeling this right now, Growly. The combo of that happening right before the break, then seeing your family makes it extra difficult.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to feel special with your T--I even told that to MC at one point. (I had felt that way before with him, but it became a bigger issue with me when I found out he wouldn't have told us about his wife's passing, even though we'd known she was sick, and I doubt many other patients would have known that--mostly because I figured it out from assorted clues.) At first, he said how he treats/cares for all of his patients equally. I said I knew, but there was this kind of pathetic part of me that just needed to hear him say I was special. He said it wasn't pathetic. And then, "You are special, just like all of my patients are special." And for some reason, hearing him phrase it that way satisfied me--it was like I needed him to say I was special, no matter what qualifier he put after that. So presumably a childhood thing...

I've also heard MC telling one of the same stories he told us to the woman he sees before us, and they were both laughing about it. Of course he shares his stories with many patients, since that's a big part of how he does therapy, but it still felt weird having him say the same story. And once, after our session, he was retrieving his next client, a teen, MC affectionately patted him on the foot, which made me feel jealous--I'm sure because of the paternal transference stuff.

I've never seen current T interact with other clients (he doesn't walk them to waiting room), which is probably a good thing--though I don't have the same attachment to him (at least at this point!) as I do to MC, so it likely wouldn't affect me as much. Though I have looked at people in the waiting room when I've been leaving and thought, "Hm, is that one T's?"