I'm back again. Back onto this topic.

It's the rejection that I am having so much trouble with, especially after ALL that I did for my ex and after ALL that I gave to him. I gave him EVERYTHING... including all of my heart and soul.

The rejection at the end -- even though I broke up with him, he also then broke up with me and said we don't connect enough -- hurt me deeply. To have him say that we didn't connect enough hurt incredibly because we DID connect. That was a knife directly planted into my heart. We connected on many levels, aside from him being a total screw up.

And my desire to want him to contact me just so I can reject him for good? WHY can't I just let it go???? WHY do I need to reject him now? Is my ego that fragile and weak? Typically I feel pretty good about myself and my self-esteem seems to be fairly strong most the time. So why do I need this ego stroking so badly?!? It's making me insane.

And the new guy I'm dating? He's great! He's actually pretty amazing and things are truly great with us! But it's too soon to feel like I have fully moved on. We've only been dating five weeks.

I know I know... It won't help me to hear right now that I should have healed myself first before trying to date and before getting involved with someone new. It didn't happen, so this is where I am and what I am dealing with.