I think I would feel awkward about it at first, and I would want to hear from T that there would be no way, no matter what, that they would say anything about me or my therapy to my friend. And I would want them to tell friend that as well, so that friend would not be wondering every time T said something if T was referring to me.

I'm not sure who I would want to tell me. Probably T because then I could throw a fit (if needed) or process with T before talking to friend about it.

But I don't think it is unethical for a friend to refer you, nor for the friend to become romantically involved with the person they referred you to.And I think it is totally possible for a professional to say absolutely nothing about a client. I am a clergyperson and I hear stuff from people that they want to keep private. I have no problem doing so, even with my H who is also a clergy person.