My husband, boyfriend at the time, would "tease" me when I tried to wear makeup. He would say things like you look like you've been playing with crayons or did you get into your mother's makeup again. It stung to hear these things and I eventually quit even attempting to wear makeup because it made me feel stupid. Looking back at this now, I feel like this was done with the intent to make me feel like I wasn't good enough of a woman because I couldn't even properly apply makeup. I can't fathom what other motive he would have for telling me these things.

So, not exactly the same thing, but I think trying to control your appearance in the way she did it is abusive. A non-abusive person, would just tell you that they prefer your hair a different way, and that's a perfectly reasonable thing to say to your partner, I think. They wouldn't belittle you.