First of all I agree with everything said so far.

I am the child of a father who beat the living daylights out of my mom. As in she went to the hospital while he went to jail. I have PTSD from that and am a victim of it.

If you love him, let him go. Every time you hit him (or use nasty language assuming you do) you are breaking him a little more. Domestic abuse survivors are forever changed. If you care about him truly, break up with him

Then get yourself help. If you want to change, there is always a way. Knock on every door, walk every street, call every number and don't give up. If you want it bad enough, you can achieve it. Bipolar meds may help, but I doubt they are the entire solution. There is so much more going on here.

If you get help and then you want to try to persue a relationship, great. As it stands you shouldn't be in one. Please please make a change before he is completely broken.