I am tired. I am tired of fighting for myself. I never did that well to begin with. Advocating for myself. This is third time I have said,'i am hurting, please help me.' I get codiene, i get t3 or vicodin...i say that neither works can you please please please try soemthing else...i get email saying pick up meds in phrarmacy...its t3...gee great thanks. lot of help that is. It's all in my head here is another antidepressant. You can't be having that much pain all your tests are perfect
well except for the sugars, you need to get better control, blah blah blah...why try so hard to just have the pain drive it up?? who can explain my fever off and on for the past few years?? God I am tired of it all and wish I could just give up, but instead I spiral and rant and call myself everything you can think of. I won't kill myself, too chicken for that but it don't stop me from thinking and wishing...I guess i can see why moggles is worried, but i all talk no action. I want to give up with doctors though, it is too much energy. And moggles stressing about money and i need to get a job to help out, esp since I am not a good housekeeper...i am just useless on all aspects!


melanie