The best thing that I’ve learned in therapy this year is that you can’t necessarily control your thoughts or your feelings, but you can always control your behaviors. That may seem simplistic, but I have had a lot of trouble with my behaviors in the past because I felt like I had to do certain behaviors because of how I am feeling, and I felt like those behaviors weren’t optional. But you always have control, even when you don’t feel like you have control.

Also, that DBT isn’t really meant to try to fix your problems, just to get you through the awful moment without engaging in problem behaviors so that you can work through that problem later, at a more appropriate time.