I know that you are in deep pain over this sometimes, Eve. I like that some people here are saying that you should focus on yourself. It's so true that *you* are the only person you can really control. When I learned about taking personal responsibility, it opened up a whole new perspective for me. Its not the same thing as self blame.

Also, what are you doing with your time? Someone said that the wounds are still fresh for you, and yes, that is true. At the same time, are you busy? Are you getting stuff done in your life? Do you feel like your life has purpose and meaning? Just wondering. I know that for myself, when I have more free time, that is when I start to obsess, do unhealthy things, etc.

I don't want to minimize your feelings, because I know it sucks! Honestly, what seesaw and someone else said sounds very spot on to me: he was pissed at you for breaking up with him and he decided in that moment, to be passive aggressive, and messed with your mind. That happened to me to once. It was a very painful break up. What I'm trying to say is, don't believe it. Don't believe his words. Don't believe what he said to you. He said it in the heat of his own moment. And it was very emotionally immature. If he meant it, that sure was selfish of him to say. It was cruel and stupid. Mostly, the whole thing points to emotional immaturity though. I'm REALLY glad you didn't marry this dude and have his children!!

I really think you need to focus on you. Focus on you becoming your best self. Who is that? What steps might you want to take in order to move toward becoming that person? How does she feel? What does she do? What kinds of people are in her life?