I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Yes... mess & clutter would be difficult for my wife & I to deal with too. Fortunately for us, it's just the two of us. Plus we live in a townhome. So things stay pretty clean; although we do have a dog & he helps keep the place from being too immaculate.

Also, we're not savers. Anything we don't seem to have a use for, we get rid of. Over time, I've actually gotten rid of some things I now wish I had back. But it's too late now. From what you wrote it sounds as though you're doing more cleaning than we do on a day-to-day basis. I tend to do quite a bit of "spot cleaning". I'm always on the lookout for areas that seem to need attention. And if I see something, I take care of it then-&-there. That way there's less of a need for major cleaning efforts.

Unfortunately I don't know as there is much of anything I could suggest to you here. You didn't mention how old your son is or if he's in school, etc. Perhaps, if he's receiving special education or rehabilitation services, learning to help out around home could be something the people who work with him could focus on. If not, perhaps looking into what might be available in terms of in-home services might be worth while. The key here, it seems to me, is to find some way of teaching him to help take care of things. His disabilities probably do contribute to his "messiness". But they should not be allowed to be an excuse for turning you into his servant. I wish you well.