Goodness.

First, thanks for the line breaks with the paragraphs.

Second. Well, secondly I realize that your situation is so distant from my experiences that I’m actually having to think about your problem.

Of your considerations, I would first try an escort. Not the $50 Craigslist girls but a woman whom you could talk with about your experiences on a first and second date. I have known some extraordinary women working in the that field of the sex industry and the overwhelming majority have been smart, funny, caring and sexually knowledgeable. You could begin with simply sleeping together - just some innocuous intimacy - before bounding forward for the kill.

TheSadGirl asked the question that I meant to ask, too. Are you attracted to women? Have you had successful trysts with guys, even when young? If so, I would amend my suggestion but I would not change it.

Discuss.

I’m not on top of the UK ‘market,’ now but you have internet access and finding an independent (stress that, three more times) and (somewhat) affordable woman shouldn’t be difficult.