I am so *******ed sick to death of being attached to you!!!!!!! I ****ing hate every second of it. Attachment, and the ****ing fear of loss, is the center of my ****ing life, or lack of a life. You have been so ****ing kind, caring and compassionate, and i have needed that to get better, but it is like a drug. I don't know how to detach for fear of feeling the massive traumatizing feelings that are completely overwhelming. It is a deterrent from getting better. I am entrapped within myself. My self hatred is of the essence and is growing day by day. I knew you weren't acting the same and yet you denied it. Guess what happens when i sense you are different? The attachment intensifies and i become more focused on the relationship. Welcome to the real, self-serving me. I don't have one ounce of respect for myself, my competency at work has gotten better while my competency at being the horrible, horrible me has dwindled and it approaches zero. Do you have any idea what it is like to be so afraid of abandonment that you become an ingratiating idiot? I am not the kind, caring person that i portray irl. How humiliating. How giving my power away to save myself from abandonment. This me is a true opposite of the other me. So, no niceties here, i've already spread that on too thick, get it?