im a loser...in more ways than one....im losing all my time...i miss out on more than half my day because i spend my day dissociating because all these little reminders are triggers....i just lose myself....sometimes im gone for hours and i don't remember what i've thought about....or what ive said....and that lack of control is scaring me...i get so frightened when i dissociate....but at the same time it is the only thing saving me from feeeling the pain..but there must be a balane somewhere....i know that when im somewhere else i cry adn cry and i can only assume what im crrying about.....confused about it all....