CN - when my transference first started... well after I figured out what it was and that I wasn't going crazy, I longed for my T so much it hurt, I thought my life would end. We actually moved to 2 x week session and that did help some but still was hard. She was in my thoughts almost continuously. I barely could work (granted that was more than what I had been doing as I too was coming out of a major depressive episode). I wanted her to hold me as a mother would a child. I don't know how I managed through that pain, the longing, yearning was so strong, so painful. Over the last year and a half ... mostly the last 6 months, it has gotten less and less painful. Now I miss her a lot and I still think of her a lot. I still see a part of her as mommy and she is ok with that. I'm up to working at 50-70% of the time. I have started getting to the place where I really believe that she is there for me if I need her - not instantaneously there, but she'll be there as soon as she can and she'll try to help me in whatever way she can. She's told me no on a few things but mostly she's been willing to explore things with me. It has been one heck of a journey so far. I'm looking forward to the new year with her because there has been a lot of internal struggles over the last 6 months, and finally it feels like all my parts are back on the same page as to what we believe and why we believe it.

So.... I guess, I'm trying to say, if you can hang in there and hold onto the hope that this is part of the process for you, take it one step at a time, it could get better for you. There are equally number of stories where things don't go well for one reason or another so I'm not going to say that it will for sure work out for you. I know for me, it seems to be helping and working. It is by no means pain free for me and it is not quick for me either.

I would say talk to your T about and keep talking about those longing feelings, explore them, try to see what they are saying to you, where they might be coming from, what it is about them - this is the chance to really see what is behind the curtain and if you are with a good T, she'll be willing to look with you and beside you.