I'd ask you as well if you have had that before, with other people. For me, it's a pattern that I have had in all my life - I used to obsess over teachers, therapists, bosses,.... and now, I can't stop thinking about my current T. It's not erotic in my case even though in the past I used to think it was because I had no idea what else it could have been as a teenager. It's almost always same sex, women, I obsess about. I am now understanding why, to some extent (emotional neglect as a child). However, this doesn't make it go away, and it can still totally take me over.

I guess when you talk about it in therapy, you can get to the underlying issues that causes this. It's hard to talk about it, but I think most Ts should be ready, even expect it from at least some of their clients.

For the longing in-between session... I let myself. I even write poems for her. I try not to fight it because I couldn't win anyway. I feel awful about it sometimes, but I try to tell myself it's okay, and it may be part of healing even though it hurts right now because it's replaying the past pain.

I am happily married, which sometimes makes me feel even worse, because shouldn't my spouse be that person for me I really come home to.... That is a part that makes it worse and fuels the fire because I feel bad about it. I wish I could tell him, but I fell so weird for feeling this way, and I do not want him to think I have a crush on my T (I have had crushes on females before, but this is not it...)...

What I try to do is use it as something that will eventually let me grow even though it may be nothing but painful, annoying, and simply weird at this moment.

Hang in there.