I don't know why, but my fears are coming back and hitting me hard. I am extremely anxious and keep thinking something is going to kill me. It is difficult to get this feeling out of my head. I wish the answer was not that I need to take more meds, because I am sick of taking all these things and dealing with the side effects. Those in itself make me feel more fearful, but it might be needed to stabilize. The thoughts are getting so bad that I felt if it gets any worse, it might drive me to needing hospitalization. I am trying to distract myself at the moment, but even that is very difficult.