Hello chic: I'm sorry you lost your beloved cat.  I've lost several pets in different ways over the decades. And each one hurts.  Here are links to 3 articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of grieving the loss of a pet:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/grievin...loss-of-a-pet/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/live-...a-pet-is-real/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-for-our-pets/
Hopefully some of the information in these articles will be of some comfort & support. I wish you well...
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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