Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
My dear.... I'm sorry to say it, but this man is showing signs of abuse. Controlling behavior as such is abusive behavior, and overly jealous is a trait of abusive men. He also berates you, calls you terrible things and names, and blames you for his own issues. This is also emotionally and psychologically abusive behavior.
DO NOT move with this man, is my advice. The abusive nature of his ways will only worsen over time, especially once he thinks he has more of you, as all abusers do. Abuse statistically escalates and worsens over time, and he's already showing signs and traits of an abuser.
I would get out of this relationship and I would certainly not expose my children to him. The good aspects are not worth all the bad ones. The bad far outweighs the good. You already know yourself that this is not healthy for you.
And if you stay OR move in with him, your own mental health will start to suffer more. Please do yourself a huge favor and start thinking about exiting from this now. I have been through several abusive relationships myself and I kick myself every single time I've stayed too long.
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Did you stay in hopes of things getting better and they never did? Or did you try to accomdate your partner and it didn't work? I'm just wondering if it's possible for the behavior to improve at all. But you mentioned wanting to kick yourself afterwards, so I'm guessing not.
I'd just like to hear about your experiences, if you don't mind sharing.
I've read that trying to cater to insecurities ends up having the opposite effect. He's a smart man and he can sometimes recognize when he's being unfair, which is what gives me hope. I think he's capable of change, but he still slips back into the same behaviors. When we're alone together, everything is great. And I can't say whether a different job or spending more time with him would help, because I haven't been able to make those things happen, but I know that changing my clothing hasn't helped because the jealousy and insecurity is still there.
Thank you again for your response.