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Originally Posted by nbjordan
I used to have some similar feelings. I'm 5' and was assigned female at birth. Before transition, I felt I would never feel ok about my height and that it would impede my transition. Similar to you, I wasn't interested in being penetrated and fantasized about having a penis. I'm now several years into transition and have had top surgery and phalloplasty. Despite my height, I am read as male and feel pretty comfortable with my body. All this to say - don't let your height stop you from exploring who you are. As you say, transition is a lot of changes, so who knows how you'd feel about your body years in the future
It sounds like you haven't experimented much yet. Having sex, trying out strapons, talking about gender with a therapist are all ways you can explore. Gender identity is complicated and it's ok to not have it all figured out yet. Do any of the side effects of T sound appealing to you? How would you feel if friends or strangers referred to you as a guy?
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It would definitely feel weird to be referred to as a guy by others, but that's only because I wouldn't be used to it. When thinking to myself, I almost never refer to myself as a woman. And if I ever do, it's only when I'm thinking about either how much I hate having a menstrual cycle since I literally don't need it (I won't be giving birth to any kids) or my lack of safety when being alone. Sooooo both negative things.
In response to the people asking about how I know I prefer certain things if I've never had sex or experienced them? Well, how do you know you don't want hot candle wax poured all over your body if you haven't had it done? How do you know you aren't a serial killer at heart if you've never killed anyone? Hmmm...... maybe because you have no urge to have those things happen/ do those things.
And a strap-on would be cool. But I wouldn't feel anything. Whenever I masturbate or think about sex, it's strictly about penetrating a woman or getting/receiving oral sex and how that would feel. Nothing else. I've thought about having sex with a woman and how it would feel for things to be done to me, but NOPE. That does not sound appealing in even the slightest fashion. If I had a penis and oral sex was offered though...... I would certainly accept. See what I mean?