My wife is currently in an affair, and during my confrontation with her back in November she confirmed the current affair and also revealed that she slept with the guy 15 years ago. This is all chronicled in the thread https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...-marriage.html. Just to be clear, I did not know about this 15-year-old cheating until she told me about it in November 2017.

She moved out three weeks ago, and I'm putting my life back together. Part of my healing process has been to write out all of the events of her relationship with this other dude as I know them in one concise page. This assignment has prompted me to look at facts and documents that indicate when things happened so that my written history can be as accurate as possible to truly understand the level of her betrayal. My purpose for doing that is to put an end to the guessing and have something concrete to hold on to that confirms for me, in one page, that separation and divorce are the right course of action.

OK, so in doing this I determined something that has me gravely concerned. Based on her disclosure about the intercourse 15 years ago and the timing of when that happened, it's dangerously close to the time that my 2nd child was conceived. I'm not talking about 6 months off or even 3 months off, I'm talking within the same month. My kid was born in late October 2003, and her disclosure indicates that she had intercourse with the other guy sometime in late December 2002 or early in 2003--I don't know exactly when.

In her version of this event from 15 years ago, she made it sound like it was a one-time thing. She said they met in a hotel, and he wore a condom. She said it was something that she was seeking but it didn't turn out how she thought it would, so they didn't pursue it further. Of course, I can't rely on anything she tells me as being true or untrue--they are only words coming out of her mouth at this point.

So the timing of that cheating in 02/03 bothers me. I am considering getting a drug-store DNA paternity test that would confirm that I am my son's biological dad, or confirm that I am not. I'm scared to do this because if I find out that I am not his bio dad, what do I do with that information? Frankly it makes me sick to think that I may not be my son's biological father.