Quote:
Originally Posted by Aesthete
Did you stay in hopes of things getting better and they never did? Or did you try to accomdate your partner and it didn't work? I'm just wondering if it's possible for the behavior to improve at all. But you mentioned wanting to kick yourself afterwards, so I'm guessing not.  I'd just like to hear about your experiences, if you don't mind sharing.
I've read that trying to cater to insecurities ends up having the opposite effect. He's a smart man and he can sometimes recognize when he's being unfair, which is what gives me hope. I think he's capable of change, but he still slips back into the same behaviors. When we're alone together, everything is great. And I can't say whether a different job or spending more time with him would help, because I haven't been able to make those things happen, but I know that changing my clothing hasn't helped because the jealousy and insecurity is still there.
Thank you again for your response. |
They NEVER change. Abusive people DO NOT CHANGE. They get worse over time.
I kicked myself because, like you, I thought if only I could explain how I feel they will change for me.
Bottom line is, the moment someone is disrespectful and controlling, is the moment you realize you need to leave.
You are trying to change yourself and change him. This will not work. Do not accommodate his extreme insecurities. It will only become something else.
Please do not ignore the fact that people are telling you that this is abuse. I wrote my other response before seeing this reply, btw. I don't mean to come across as though I lack compassion... it's the total opposite. I just don't want to see you make the same mistakes I did. ((((Hugs)))))