Hello jellybean: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

P.S. My relationship also exists on a whole string of coincidences. (I suppose most peoples' do, when you think about it. That's simply the way life is, I suppose.) One thing that does occur to me is that, if you feel you can, it might be beneficial if you could talk this through with your bf. If not, perhaps talking it through with a trusted friend, relative or therapist might be a good way to go. Continuing to ruminate over this is, from my perspective, definitely not the way to go. Here are links to a couple of articles from the PsychCentral archives on effective ways to handle emotions that may be of some assistance:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...e-effectively/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...nful-emotions/