Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
At this point you feel betrayed and you are probably experiencing a lot of emotions, often this can bring out anger too. Anger brings out a desire for action and that is something you have to make sure you hold back on even though you might feel you need to act.
|
I really thought I was past all of the revelations about the affair until I stumbled across the paternity question a couple of days ago. Yeah, I'm angry and my initial feeling is wanting to do "something." But just like her actions have resulted in consequences, my actions would as well. Bad consequences that just aren't worth it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
It's good that you found this site where you can vent and actually while you have shared your concerns here, you have also shown to be pretty level headed and considerate. I am glad to hear you are paying attention to your children and how this has been affecting them. This is one of those times where they will need you to reassure them they will be fine and that you are there if they need to sit and talk. Your children may struggle with how your wife is leaving and often children even their age feel like they are being abandoned and even that their parents don't love them enough to stay together.
It's important to reassure them that they still have parents and you are there for them and love them.
|
Open Eyes, I can't tell you how valuable this forum has been to my sanity during this ordeal. I kept feeling like I wanted to talk to someone about whether or not to do the paternity test, but it just didn't feel right talking to friends or family about this, which is really just a suspicion at this point (though that suspicion is based in concrete facts).
I'm seriously f'ed up from this. But so far, for the past 2 months, I've been able to put my best face forward for my kids. It doesn't make sense to blow it now by going nuclear and taking them down with me. I just need to count the days between now and meeting with our mediator, then getting the mediator's take on dividing our assets, then initiating the divorce proceedings. Finalizing the divorce will be a relief.
Can I just say a few more things about anger? I wish my wife the worst. I would like to see her suffer to the same level that I am suffering--or more. Her selfishness has made me question everything in my 20-year marriage. The world that I used to live in does not exist anymore. I want nothing--NOTHING to do with her, but we do have two kids so we need to be civil. For awhile I thought maybe friendship was a possibility, but why would I ever want to be friends with someone who has so little regard, so little care for me, that she would do the things she has done? There is nowhere for us to go.