Ive always had thoughts of harming someone who hurts me or others, such as a person who has treated me bad or has been cruel to a child or animal. But recently I've felt this way about people who have committed more trivial offenses. The other day a bus driver raised her upper lip at me and looked at me like she's never seen a human being before. People treat me this way a lot due to my size and that I look a lot younger than I am.

These thoughts calm me down in the moment and make me feel less hurt by th actions of others, but at the same time I feel extremely guilty about it. Because I know that most people don't DESERVE that. I also am 100% sure that I would never act on those feelings. Not only am I too shy to even speak half the time, I'm also aware that I'm not physically strong enough to take anyone. And, most importantly, I know that it would be wrong.

So it's a paradox because the thoughts mask the other emotions but then I feel like crap for having them. I'm afraid discuss this with my therapist or any other professional because I know that they have to be "safe than sorry" and will act under the presumption that I'm a violent person , which I'm not. There's a difference between thoughts and intentions. But clearly they don't see the difference,because one of the things my T had to report is thoughts of harming others.

So how can I get these out of my head?