I think one of the core motivations has been to make myself ‘normal’, or ‘cool.’

I’ve never really fit in and have always struggled to live a normal life. Ive always felt I was behind, forgotten, not wanted, just another messed up kid, pitied, and looked at like a ghost.

Still to this day look for that normal life. I can’t fit in with those with ‘normal’ lives because I have struggled my entire life. It is hard for me to socialize with them because of it.