I had exactly the same problem, and it was a year before I came anywhere near talking about the real issues. Eventually I did start to write things down. Many times I left the session with the piece of paper in my pocket. I decided to tell her that I was going to write things down and she would ask me for it. Handing the paper over was traumatic in itself, but now , another year on, i find I no longer need to write things down but am able to talk (although in very small amounts). Slowly but surely, it does become easier. Taking that first step is the hardest. Good luck