UPDATE: I wrote her and email on Friday, explaining a bit how my week went. I also talked a bit about the pain that i was experiencing due to my attachment to her. I told her that i have developed very significant feelings that, if properly analyses together, could actually uncover many things about my general attachment to people who show care for me. I asked her to help me on our next session.
But she didn't reply to my email. Normally she replies the same day or the day after, she never took so long, and i know she read it. I did not mention my suicide ideations, maybe i should have had. I feel that she left me down this time. Maybe i went to far, i hope she is not mad at me. I am feeling worse now and a bit abandoned, lonely. I felt the darkness again, the hopelessness.