Is it possible that your mum could be "codependent"? That's kind of the opposite, in a way, of a narcissist -- the person's value, and even their sense of self, come from other people's valuations and from fulfilling THEIR needs and what they want. I was kind of like that.

I've been in a lot of therapy, much of it ineffective or even harmful. I've come to the conclusion that what I had was a kind of disorder of "narcissism", just not NPD as defined in the DSM. There is so much oversimplistic hype, IMO, about narcissism these days. Disorders of the sense of self are very complicated, and few therapists really know how or what to do to help, has been my experience.

So if you mum isn't interested in therapy is there anything that you can do yourself to feel more comfortable in trying to get along with her? Accept her flaw that she is unable to accept criticism? Then -- how can you relate to her given that?