I feel my younger alters (Forest Jacq & Lizzie) all longing to be with others & be part of a family/unit today. It's after 6pm in the U.K - dark, rainy and with fireworks already going off for New Year's celebrations. I have an image of them stretching out their hands to be picked up and hugged, but nobody's here.

Outside Jacq also feels sad that this marks another year of being alone; of having nobody to sleep next to and wake up beside. I know I've done some good things this year (go to Spain & be able to communicate with people in Spanish, teach blackout poetry, and find a therapist) but I also feel like unless I have a family/partner, then I'm a waste of space.

I really hate this time of year. I'm so very lonely.