I know that anger Mapman, I know it oh so well. I was married for several years, faced some challenges and tried very hard to stay strong and work at my marriage. Then I found out that my husband cheated on me. I wanted him to hurt just as bad as I was hurting just like you are describing. I was married 17 years when I found out. My daughter had just turned 13. As hard as it was for me, I did not want it to damage her because I put a lot of effort into raising her, I was so mad at my husband for putting HER in the position she was put in too.

Did you know that Stephen Spielberg blamed his father when his parents got divorced? He did not realize for many years that it was not his father's fault at all, it was his mother that cheated and wanted the divorce. He was lucky that when he finally learned the truth that his father was still alive so he could apologize to him. A lot of his movies revolve around a young boy living with a single mother and the mother is a bit childish, and the father was nonexistent. It's important to understand that children don't see things as they really are and often they will even favor the more childlike parent. My daughter said to me years later, "Dad was always so happy go lucky, you were the one that tended to be stressed". Oh, I was stressed alright, but a child doesn't understand how to look at that the way we would think. That's because they are simply not mature enough and have no life experience to have the capacity to see the reality. I did not have a support sight like this at the time either.

What I can say is that YOU have value and unfortunately, your wife is thinking more about herself just as my husband was selfish. I know you want her to hurt like you are hurting, but that isn't something you can achieve. Perhaps, in time she will be hurt in that this other individual who also cheated on his wife, who is cheating on her now will also eventually do that to your wife too.

At this point, even though you are so angry, the best and healthiest thing for you to do is allow this break to happen so you can work on yourself and find someone else that will appreciate you and actually add "quality" to your life. It would also be a lot healthier for your children to see that happen rather than see you angry and resentful.