I barely leave my apartment. Trying not to end up in hospital again. Would love to be able to take care of my girrfriend who is one of the sweetest people in the whole world. Can't help my 28 yr. old son who lives in the garage at his mom's. Severe drug problem. Tried to get him to go with his mom and me to get help but never makes the follow-up appt. I Used to go to depression group twice a week thru med. plan but after last severe depression started talking about myself more and stopped attending. Never have been a strong person, 65 now.When I was feeling better guess I was kidding myself. Just a matter of time before depression would come back. I pray that my girlfriend, son and his mom can feel good again. I'm so pathetic that I pray to die in my sleep naturally. I'm a coward. Guess I always have been. Sorry this is so long. I have had friends in the past but never seem to keep them. Probably don't deserve them. If I go to get help again, I'll probably end up in hospital. Not suicidal but usually say too much where I seem to be. Hope you all start feeling better and or continue feeling better. Nice to have a place where people can share their feelings My girlfriend unfortunately hears my crap over and over. So far she still wants me to stay with her. I guess I really don't deserve anything more. She really is an a angel. Everyone, please take care.