There's a lot to what everyone's written and I've gotta say, it's great to be able to talk about this stuff here with all you friendly strangers One thing I'm taking away from this is that I'm determined to tell my T just what I said here. In reading other people's accounts of their reluctance to even chance breaching a barrier I can't help but want to tell you all, "No, this is exactly the juicy stuff you should be talking about--this is what therapy is all about. Far from getting freaked, your therapist will probably be thrilled!!" So I'm determined to talk about this next session. I'll also tell her that I was inspired to do so here, and I throw that in because I've hesitated to tell her that I seek company in online forums. (Not sure why, but I'm thinking it's maybe because it would likely introduce questions of what I'm seeking in between sessions, and seems like it would likely bring us right around to this stuff about boundaries and wish for more closeness that I've been avoiding talking about.)