I reached a breaking point today with a relative. I have a serious need for my room to be left untouched by everyone except myself. They entered without asking, and smelled horrible. I have a thing with germs, smells especially, and I got so angry that I took a candle they cherish and smashed it against their wall. I said horrible things to them. I called them names I've never said out loud before. And I think they were genuinely scared of me. I would never hurt them but they just kept standing in my room nodding texting not even acknowledging that they were destroying me by just standing there. I felt like I was being attacked and like they would ruin my room. They ran out of the room, scared, crying. I feel like I'm going to cry as well. Because I'm scared of myself now. I've never acted on these feelings before. I don't think they will ever look at me the same now, or trust me, or love me.