I think your mom may be playing you. My guess is that she has no intention of getting a divorce.

Years ago my mother tried to get me to agree that she was doing my father a favor by staying married to him. She claimed she wanted to divorce him, but couldn't afford to because she couldn't pay the mortgage on the house by herself. I would not say what she wanted me to say. When one parent tries to get you to talk negatively about the other parent, you are being played. That's what I believe.

Your father got all upset because he felt pressured into considering a job opportunity. This disturbed him because he doesn't want to get a job. That's the way he's been living and he doesn't want to change.

I predict your parents will still be married 5 years from now.