Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
So you, your 14 yr old sister and your mom all, jointly, figured out that she should get a divorce. You are way too up in your mom and dad's business. Stick to managing your own life. Leave mom and dad to figure out their own stuff.
Your mom's a controller, and you're becoming a little chip off the old block - trying to manage what isn't yours to manage. A marriage is between two people, not three or four.
Years ago, my sister called me up saying she wanted a divorce and didn't I think that was a good idea? I told her that I would never, ever criticize her decision, but that only she, and she alone, could decide what was a good idea in regards to her marriage. That is my deeply held belief.
|
After having read your follow-up comments, I must say I agree with Rose. Your mother should NOT be discussing her marriage with you. My mother did that and it royally screwed me up. I know way too much about their marriage, their sex life, everything. And what's worse, is years later, my dad told me his side, and for a while I believed that...but now I see that they are both totally messed up and the only perspective that I can trust, and that matters, is what I experienced growing up in that house with the two of them. I don't care who was "right" or "wrong" and who did what to whom. In the end, all I care about is that they created a violent household TOGETHER that made it an abusive and neglectful home for me and my brothers and resulted in my complex PTSD and the issues I have today.
Now, granted, even though I just ranted about it, I am an adult, I take responsibility for my own life and who I am today and I control my own destiny, not the abuse they inflicted on me.
As Rose said, you (and your 14 year old sister, that is so NOT appropriate) need to get your noses up outta their business. You are not old enough or the party responsible to be making decisions for your father's life.
I'm not saying anything that your father did or has done is right, and same with your mother. But children should not be involved in the marital decisions of their parents. There is so much more between them than what you think you know.
My advice is to get yourself a therapist and work through your control issues and independence.
Sorry if this seems stern, I just see a lot of what happened to me happening to you, and god, I wish someone had hurt my feelings a little bit to tell me to get my nose outta my parents' business. It would have saved me so much heartache and confusion and my own mistakes.
Seesaw