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Originally Posted by The Madcap
So when people are extremely depressed or sad it makes me really happy or uplifts my mood but if someone is super happy and cheerful, taking pictures with Boyfriends, Girlfriends, it angers me, I feel sad but very very angry and frenzied..I want to make them sad and miserable..I don’t know what’s wrong with me..I guess people’s misery makes me happy and uplifted and people’s happiness makes me angry and negative and I just see them as being fake and plastic and I just really hate them and want to make them miserable. Also I notice that if the attention isn’t in me I get extremely insecure and jealous. Like I become so negative and need that attention and need everything to be about me. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it
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Most feel this way but never admit it. You are truthful and sincere enough to admit it to yourself and also take an additional step and share it with us. That is impressive.
I think it is inevitable to have these emotions in our society, which encourages competition and individualism.
I don’t know if you can feel happy for other’s lives and accomplishments if you are not in a happy place yourself. It requires a very wise person to do that. And you cannot blame yourself for how you feel. Even the fact that you see t as a problem and admit it, shows wisdom. Besides, I think it is more difficult to be happy for others (or be sad when they are down on their luck) when you are dealing with MI and trying to navigate life like that.
Don’t be so harsh on yourself.