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Originally Posted by The Madcap
So when people are extremely depressed or sad it makes me really happy or uplifts my mood but if someone is super happy and cheerful, taking pictures with Boyfriends, Girlfriends, it angers me, I feel sad but very very angry and frenzied..I want to make them sad and miserable..I don’t know what’s wrong with me..I guess people’s misery makes me happy and uplifted and people’s happiness makes me angry and negative and I just see them as being fake and plastic and I just really hate them and want to make them miserable. Also I notice that if the attention isn’t in me I get extremely insecure and jealous. Like I become so negative and need that attention and need everything to be about me. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it
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Honestly, these sound like sociopathic tendencies and I'm not saying this to be cruel. Are you in therapy? I think getting professional help, regardless of my "armchair" diagnosis, would help you a lot. Good luck.