Completely relatable. My father is exactly like this.
A part of him sees futility in partaking in any activity since your mother has become the breadwinner. But another part of him is in long despair because he is not productive, and trying to cope by partaking in casual activities at home.

What will attract him to be better is to first for him to feel better about himself, and within himself.

I can also recommend the “Men Are From Mars. Women Are From Venus”, which discusses ideas for better communications between couples, along the earlier chapters.