I did the right thing by not responding. Twice he has become abusive and harassing and didn’t quit until called by police. Lesson learned. That behavior was his problem. He kept trying to sext with me, which I won’t do.

I give people (mostly love interests) too much credit, always my problem. They are not as great as I want to think they are. If they don’t want me, I pine for them and idealize them in my mind. If they do want me, I devalue them, harping on their faults, and want to run away.

So I guess the underlying cause is I have an emotional disorder.

I just have to remind myself I am just an old married woman, who can’t even deal with sex with my h, and there’s nothing else for me.

Just shut up and deal.

I found this forum, like writing on a public toilet wall, venting my angst and anger, nobody gives a flying f.

And what is interesting is a look better than I ever have lately. Considering my age, I’m hot. My hair got long and gorgeous since I started coloring and trimming it myself! for the first time in my life, my boobs look great. I am a Ferrari only getting the dust wiped off me with a gentle cloth. I want to be opened up and tear down the highway! But I’m stuck in the showroom.

I wasn’t pretty enough for the ones who rejected me. My ego is so frail, I never stopped obsessing over it. Or it’s simply OCD/PTSD.

Whatever. More shyt written on a toilet stall wall.

For a good time call...