AS, I have run into the same problems as you do, but I think I've figured out one thing that is easy for both of us to change and might make an impact.

I too am strongly opinionated and not afraid to call it as I see it. Most of the time, people seem to appreciate my perspective, but once in a while I really %#@&#! someone off. It usually occurs when I chime in with my differing opinion without asking a single question. Looking back on some of those posts, I clearly made some assumptions and responded accordingly. I should have asked more and said less.

I don't think people, for the most part, mind being disagreed with. What they DO mind is presumptuousness. And I mind that too - it is insulting not to be given the benefit of the doubt. I also find that I can avoid seeming patronizing if I try to show that I can "see" the other side of the argument (the side that I disagree with), and do my best to relate to that part, too.

I hope that helps. It is frustrating, I realize, especially when we post with the intention of helping rather than hurting, but the opposite effect occurs.

Hang in there