Hello iimmscared. Sometimes when you depend on porno to cause sexual excitement then reality comes into question, when you are with someone in person. Your porno watching and sexual control is an addiction, and you know this, and it takes a lot of help to get over the control that porno addictions, or any other addictions have over your life, when it starts to interfere with having a Normal relationship with someone you care for in real life. I would highly suggest seeing a therapist to help you reretionalize your concept of sexual participation in general, and how you feel about women in general as a sexual being. A good therapist can help you manage youe overwhelming confusion you are having a this time. If you want a Normal life and children later in life, you surely do not want to carry this addiction into your married life, it would be destructive to both you and your wife. There should be many therapists in your area that specialize in sexual addiction, or Maybe Doc John could tell you who may ba available to address the concerns you may be having at this time through PM. Take care and good day iimmscares. I hope thing sget better for you soon. Soidhonia..