I remember those school years. I was doing good up until a certain point. Then I got involved in activities very different from studying books. Didn’t give a damn.
Doesn’t really matter now why. Threw my life away. Never got the education I needed to get , never got the career I dreamed about when I was young. Sometimes you think you have so much control over your life when you really don’t.
Life happens the way it’s going to happen whether you like it or not.
First of all stop putting so much pressure on yourself ! There are plenty of very smart and successful people that are much more unhappy than you are right now. You won’t get anywhere until you straighten out your head first and foremost. Use every resource available to help you with your mental health.
You have issues that need to be dealt with. Now ! Get another pet knowing that you still love the other one very much. Don’t try and work your emotions like a faucet. Feel what you need to feel. Let it out. But not in a destructive way !
It saddens me when I see such young people going thru what your going through right now. You got some very good suggestions. Think about them.
Life is a journey needed to be navigated to the best of your ability using whatever tools are available. Most importantly, don’t ever give up. Never.
No matter what.