I don't know if this will help you, or not, but here goes. You might try to have a pet, like a small lap dog, or a cat. I have found that if I have my babies to take care of, it helps me to go on. I have 3 rescued dogs, and one other that my husband picked out from a litter. I have a very small male 4& 1/2 pound Chihuahua that I rescued from a puppy mill. He was off in a corner by himself almost dead. The moma dog wouldn't take care of him, he was the runt. As soon as I got him we took him to the vet, and he ended up getting a blood transfusion. He will be 7 in may, and he has 3 meds he has to have for the rest of his life. He also has trouble keeping his sugar at a good level. I don't know how many times we almost lost him because his sugar dropped to almost nothing. He has seizures, and trouble with his throat, and his lungs. But I will tell you this, when we took him I had to force feed him boiled and ground up chicken livers for about 3 weeks, and I had to teach him how to walk, because he had forgotten. when I am having trouble living, I look at him, and see how hard he fought through his life, just to live, and I try to rethink my life issues. He is a little fighter, and doesn't give up. His name is Jose, and he looks like a tiny Doberman, and to him there never is a stranger. Our 2nd rescue I almost hit on our local highway. Her name is Pixie Wiggles because when I brought her home she wandered all over our 6 acers, and her tail never stops waving. I mostly call her wiggle worm. She is a blond/light tan Chihuahua, and she has a few MI problems, but we accept her as she is. Our last rescue is a black lab mix puppy. We named him Jake. He started out in a kill shelter, then went to a foster, We had driven four hours to another state to rescue him. Our only chosen baby is a black, and tan Chihuahua, that looks like a miniature rottwilder, and she is about 1/2 her weight over weight. These are our babies, and we will take them to the vet, before we would go to the doc. Sometimes I believe if it wasn't for them I would no longer be here. Just a little thing to think about. My thoughts, and prayers go out to you.