I have mentioned this in the Bipolar Check In thread. However, I am now asking for a little support and ideas on how I can handle this. I am sorry for the very long post.

I have initiated a process that can end up with a job in the career I had before my SSDI. I have been out of work for about 20 years. I am already 58 years old. Anyways, the employment service plans to get me a job in this field which can be very stressful at time. I am going to work part time in order to keep my SS benefits. If this works out, and I get a good enough offer, I will work full time. I have to get a full time job for I have large debts and I have no money in the bank.

I am really really scared about re-entering the job market. I constantly think about this. What if I cannot function well enough? What if I crash and end up being fired? I would feel absolutely terrible about that. My mind does not work as well as it did in the past. I frequently forget what I was about to do. I sometimes cannot focus. I have already gone through a very stressful time in my life. I probably will be very overwhelmed at first which can lead to severe depression. I do not have a support system in place. It can take over a year to stabilize me due to infrequent visits to my pdoc due to going to a public facility.

I understand there are others here who have gone through this same situation. How did you cope with this? Did you end up quitting, or end up being firied? I would also like some feedback from those who do not work but still understand my situation. I thank you in advance for any help you can provide me.

By the way, it was very difficult to make this thread. I am becoming a needy incapable weakling. I do not like showing this side of myself.