The way I'd describe my mood: both anxious and empty....also feeling that I'm "not good enough," if that makes sense. I was manic part of last month, then it became mixed, dysphoric mania, and I fell flat on my face into a deep depression with some paranoid thinking and high anxiety, which is what I am facing now. I am really trying to hold out for my pdoc visit at the end of the week. I wish it were sooner.

Also, I went back to work today after using a lot of "mental health days"/accrued time off. It was really hard. Plus, we have a blizzard on Thursday, and I will have to use up more time off. Although I really do need as much time off as possible, because I'm not feeling strong, I don't want to lose hours.