I'm very sorry this is happening to you. Your wife sounds extremely controlling and very abusive. It is very sad that she has reduced you to the point where you have to ask permission for clothes or even a bank account. She has no right to do this to you.

Children know when their parents are unhappy, they need a happy confident Dad. Clearly staying in this relationship is not good for all concerned.

My worry is that you have forgiven your wife so many times which just gives her fuel to continue this behavior towards you. You need to separate, move out, ignore the threats and start divorce proceedings. It's a good idea to keep arguments and abusive behavior away from the children. You need to be strong, please seek psychotherapy to help your own self esteem and confidence. Involve a restraining order if necessary, call the police regarding abuse when it happens. The police would tell you the same. Start planning now what you need to do.