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Old Jan 03, 2018, 11:46 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,237
Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
thanks, everyone. Hugs.

I am backing up. There's no need for things to get serious so soon. That is why I said in the beginning post that I want to back up a little, based on these few issues I am seeing.

My therapist says these are yellow flags, not red flags. She said these are things to be cautious about and to proceed with caution.

Divine, I did address the mirror thing in a joking manner at the hotel. I said, "guess you're admiring yourself huh?" What really else can you say about that to someone?

I don't feel that asking about him looking in the mirror all the time is fitting. That is too hard to bring up to someone, and no, I don't feel comfortable with that. I would much rather observe the behavior and decide on my own whether it's a deal breaker or not for me. If it's vanity, no thanks. I don't want a vain person who is so in love with themselves. That is no good.

As for the lack of response sometimes, I don't think it's forgetfulness because he does in person sometimes too.

I will bring it up, I just need to figure out HOW without sounding demanding or pushy.

I am trying to take things slowly, and because we both had hurtful relationships before this, I don't want to pressure him in any way. I want things to naturally unfold and develop, over time.

My gut tells me that the last thing he wants is to feel pressured into a relationship too quickly. It has only been six weeks after all. That being said, he has told me he is open to a relationship and to falling in love. The feeling and sense I get from him though is that he wants to take his time and is in no hurry to rush in. That I feel is healthy for both of us right now.
You are making a good sense. No need to pressure either. I agree. And you know what works for you and what doesn’t (if vanity is a no no for you then

I guess I meant asking questions not to embarrass or interrogate but in order to understand. I don’t believe he’ll run away if you ask questions (if he run away then he wasn’t right for you to begin with)

Good luck!